First Contact

Recently I reinstituted a Contact form on the site after someone expressed difficulty getting in touch with me. Since then the site has been bombarded by brute-force hacking attempts, which is why I removed the original Contact page back in 2021. I don’t know what is about web forms but they’re blood in the water for attracting bots. I’ve now taken it down a second time.

If you want to contact me, the best way is through social media. Links to my profiles are available at the bottom of every page on this site and I’ve added a second set at the top of the sidebar that appears on blog pages (if you’re reading this on a desktop).

• Instagram and Threads are the best way to reach me. I’m often on Insta spending too much time watching videos about dogs, chimpanzees, and chimps petting dogs; and while Threads is a little chaotic during its salad days and I don’t check it often, I will receive notifications.

• I have a Facebook profile but I rarely check it. Facebook’s interface is like a child’s toy, full of buttons meant to keep you distracted while the grown-ups eat dinner but it’s cumbersome to use for practical purposes. You can reach out to me there but I may not notice for a couple of weeks.

• The less said about the website-formerly-known-as-Twitter, the better. If you tweet or DM me there, I will lock my car doors and stare straight ahead through the windshield while pretending I didn’t see it.

Short News, Snakes and Ladders Edition

CC BY SA Jacqui Brown

Longtime readers of this blog — I believe in you! — will recall an infrequent feature called Short News in which I posted links to news stories that interested me. Over the years, however, I found posting those links on Twitter a much easier way to bookmark articles and essays for future reference.

While the demise of Twitter has been overstated — the IP is too valuable for extinction so it will stagger along in some fashion, with or without Musk — it’s heyday is certainly in the rear-view. For years my doubts about Twitter have grown, with a central question becoming more and more inescapable: Is Twitter something a grown-ass man should be participating in? I’m not alone. Far from being the “town square,” only 23 percent of Americans use Twitter, much fewer than Facebook (69 percent) or even Instagram (40 percent) — and that data was compiled in 2021.

Watching Musk’s takeover has been like reading about a Marxist coup against some third-world dictator: I feel no sympathy for the old guard and yet in no way is the new guard an improvement. Twitter’s culture is so awful — a gamified popularity contest in which the worst human expressions are hardwired into its design — that just browsing my timeline feels increasingly dirty, immature, and undignified.

The moment has come, I think, to pull back from Twitter and resuscitate Short News here. Plus, my blog is searchable.

Not the Hero We Deserve. Axios profiled Amy Siewe, a former snake breeder and real-estate broker from Ohio turned python hunter. Over the past three years, Siewe has single-handedly captured and killed 405 Burmese pythons in the Florida wilderness.

Crypto Bro Deep Thoughts. In an interview, FTX twat Sam Bankman-Fried stated he never reads books. When pressed why, he replied:

I don’t want to say no book is ever worth reading, but I actually do believe something pretty close to that. … If you wrote a book, you f—ed up, and it should have been a six-paragraph blog post.

No answer to the obvious follow-up question — But would you read a collection of blog posts? — has been forthcoming.

The more I learn about the boneheads behind the crypto curtains, the more I believe anyone losing money through crypto and NFTs fucking deserves it. Washington Post source here, paywall.

One Man’s Problem. New York City is looking for a “highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty” candidate to become the city’s new rat czar who will “fight New York City’s relentless rat population.” Consider this my job application: I know where we can get snakes real cheap.

Sweet Land of Naivete

The word immature reverberated in my head last week when I read about a Tennessee education board banning the graphic novel Maus from its schools, on International Holocaust Remembrance Day, no less.

Art Spiegelman’s memoir, which won the Pulitzer Prize, is an absolutely stunning masterpiece. It’s the true story of the artist and writer trying to come to terms with his difficult father Vladek, a Holocaust survivor crippled by PTSD.

The book (or books — originally Maus appeared in two volumes) juxtaposes Spiegelman’s modern-day frustrations with Vladek against flashbacks of his father’s experiences in Europe. I read it first as a teen, then reread it while preparing this post. There are parts that are hard to read without my eyes watering.

One scene has always stuck with me. Mouse Artie and mouse Vladek are walking down the street, and Artie is enraged because his dad rummages through the trash barrels they pass. The dad finds some wire which he keeps, mentioning it might be useful later. You always pick up trash! mouse Artie shouts. Can’t you just buy wire?

But Vladek is mystified by his son’s reaction. He scavenges because he’s a survivor. He’d be foolish not to take the wire!

That scene, emblematic of Vladek’s entire life, hits even harder with me now, some thirty-odd years after first reading it. That’s what good art does. Good art sticks in the head decades later. Good art you never forget.

Let’s assume the members of the McMinn County Board of Education aren’t anti-Semites or Holocaust deniers. Let’s assume their banning of Maus from their schools because of “unnecessary use of profanity and nudity and its depiction of violence and suicide” is sincere. Let’s assume that when the Board wrote in their statement, “We simply do not believe that this work is an appropriate text for our students to study,” they were totally serious.

Most of those McMinn County eighth-graders have game consoles at home and already know worse words than the very few swears printed in Maus. Likewise those kids know more euphemisms for penis than there are hollows in the Tennessee hills, let alone what penises or women’s breasts, cartoon or otherwise, look like. They have phones.

And because it’s impossible to teach the Holocaust without discussing violence, I don’t know what would be an appropriate text to study that would meet the board’s criteria. Even The Diary of Anne Frank doesn’t end with a happily ever after.

You have to wonder at the callowness of people too immature to look past a few bad words and cartoon peens — how do they survive in this world of ours? The characters Spiegelman depicts were real people with real names who actually existed, but by the board’s logic their stories and memories are invalidated by the same violence by which they died. In their naivete, the horrors of the Holocaust fade in relevance to a belief in their children’s moral chastity, a virtue as nonexistent as Santa Claus.

I wish I could say this childishness is something new, something that’s appeared in the past few years, but I’m old enough to remember the Satanic panic of the 80s and the time Tipper Gore’s freakout over a Prince album led to congressional hearings. For my entire lifetime America has been a nation of thumb-suckers, some of them in charge.

The only response is for the rest of us — the grown-ups — to push back every way you can, in any small way you can.

Coda: When I first read Maus, I assumed it was the Holocaust that made Vladek Spiegelman who he was, that his experiences shaped him — that he was, as I said above, “a Holocaust survivor crippled by PTSD.” At one point in the narrative, when Artie’s wife Francoise empathizes with Vladek by suggesting that very idea, Artie is unconvinced, commenting that he knows many other Holocaust survivors who aren’t like his dad. There’s something harder and more extreme about Vladek.

For many years I agreed with Francoise — after all, it’s presumptuous to expect everyone to process trauma in the same way.

But now I’m not so sure. Not too long ago I wrote a book in which the protagonist encounters relatives from his mother’s estranged side of the family, all of whom are wealthy and successful. They’re not bad people (well, most of them aren’t) but they are, to varying degrees, obnoxious and difficult to get along with. It’s fiction but the story is based upon my observations from decades of rubbing elbows with prosperous people in which I’ve realized the same traits that drive some to succeed also make them intolerable. Is Elon Musk evil? I very much doubt it. Is he a prick? Sounds like it.

Likewise I now suspect Vladek was who he was all along; the reason he survived the Holocaust was precisely because of his character. His traits are what led to his success — and during the Holocaust, success was measured by survival. Those same qualities that grated on Artie’s nerves are what allowed his father to live. That’s not to say other survivors had those same manners or that all survivors are somehow obnoxious. But the skills that preserved Vladek were often not so easy to turn off afterward, much to his son’s exasperation.

Do Something

Nobody can do everything, but everybody should do something. Here’s what I’ve been doing:

  • I’ve written to my congressman asking him to support HR 7085, a bill that would end qualified immunity for police.
  • I’ve written to my senators asking them to end the war on drugs, which disproportionately affects black Americans (34 percent of our prisoners, for example, are black even though black Americans constitute about 13 percent of the general population). I specifically cited the murder of Breonna Taylor and asked them to legalize schedule I and II substances, defund and eliminate the Drug Enforcement Agency, invest funds into treatment and healthcare, and introduce legislation matching HR 7085 to end qualified immunity for police.
  • I’ve donated to the NAACP. I’ve also seen a lot of people donating to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, which is a separate organization. Mrs. Kuhl has given to the Black Visions Collective based in Minneapolis.
  • I’ve been volunteering four days a week at our local food pantry, which has transitioned to a drive-thru service due to covid-19. Forty percent of homeless people are black.

It’s not much but it’s something. Maybe you’ve already done something too. If you haven’t, maybe you should.

Tales From the Coronapocalypse

The pandemic has sharply increased demand at food pantries:

The San Francisco-Marin Food Bank in California has built “pop-up” pantries after some of its previous 275 or so sites had to stop operating during the pandemic, spokeswoman Keely Hopkins said. The new sites, many of which are serving hundreds of people per day, stay open for longer hours and use open spaces such as parking lots to facilitate social distancing, she added.

Paid staffers are diving in at many food banks to stock, sort and bag food for either delivery or drive-thru pickups, a measure they realized was necessary to protect volunteers, many of whom are older and particularly at risk for complications from the virus. Second Harvest Food Bank of Middle Tennessee limits volunteers to 10 per room to fill boxes.

The board of the East Nashville Cooperative Ministry has proposed closing because so many of its volunteers are elderly, including Judy Wahlstrom, who runs the program.

[Associated Press]

For the past two weeks I’ve been volunteering via CERT at our local food pantry, which has switched to drive-thru service to maintain social distancing. I can testify to many of this story’s main points. The first few days we had plenty of fresh produce and frozen meat to give away, donated by restaurants who had more than they could use and a local country club cleaning out its freezer. Now most of that stuff is gone, with little promise of future donations. The only thing we have in abundance? Easter candy — boxes upon boxes of donated Easter candy. Meanwhile, one long-time pantry volunteer told me that several pantries in neighboring Bridgeport have shut down because they were staffed by elderly volunteers who didn’t want to risk going to work.

Pork and beef will likely become scarcer at grocery stores too:

Smithfield Foods Inc., the world’s biggest pork producer, indefinitely shut down a slaughter plant in South Dakota this week after hundreds of workers tested positive for Covid-19. The plant typically accounted for 4% to 5% of total hog processing in the U.S.

Two people who worked at a Tyson Foods Inc. pork plant in Iowa died and two dozen are ill, with operations down. Three people died who worked at a Tyson poultry plant in Georgia. A worker at a Cargill Inc. plant in Colorado also died. JBS USA delayed the reopening of a Pennsylvania beef plant from Thursday to Monday.

[Bloomberg]

One of the survivalist lessons I took away from Sandy was to learn to cook vegetarian. Without power for a week, the meat in our fridge went fast. A few times I bought meat in the late afternoon, then took it home and immediately grilled it (we had our Weber charcoal grill plus a little propane stove), but as I boiled my umpteenth pot of ramen noodles I realized I needed to round out my menu options with ingredients that didn’t need refrigeration. While my vegetarian repertoire is still small — my two mainstays are eggplant curry and tarka dhal — it sounds like it may be expanding soon.

In Europe and Canada, farmers are flying in foreign workers to pick their crops. Here in the States, the problem is lack of demand:

At C&E, restaurant and business closures have led to an estimated 40% decline in demand for the farm’s green beans, Colson said. With the drop in business in Florida, Colson says the farm has had to leave beans out in the field — meaning they will die off.

In an interview last week from his farm in Florida, Colson said they’d had 3 million pounds of green beans that weren’t able to go to fresh market. Most of that was sold at a reduced price to canneries.

The rest, roughly a quarter million pounds, was left in the field.

[Daily Press]

My solution: ask volunteers to pick a portion of the crops on behalf of local food banks and pantries, then allow farmers to take the full market value of the donation as a tax deduction.

And people would volunteer to pick green beans because, in general, they’re helpful:

In the wake of a catastrophic earthquake in Turkey in 1999, the emergency relief expert Claude de Ville de Goyet berated media organisations for propagating what he called “disaster myths.” “While isolated cases of antisocial behavior exist,” he wrote, “the majority of people respond spontaneously and generously.”

[Financial Times]

I’ve run into the disaster myth too. After Sandy, the National Guard was deployed in our neighborhood, patrolling the beaches in full tactical gear — like something from Smedley’s era, there were rumors of boats coming across the Sound full of thieves targeting the abandoned houses along the shore. Even today I’ll still hear someone talk about the alleged looting that took place during Sandy. Yet there wasn’t a single documented incident of local looting or vandalism during Sandy or its aftermath.

Not only are people generally decent and courteous in bad times, they often look for ways to help. Our local firefighters have been turning away people who show up at the station asking to volunteer: they’re untrained and unvetted, so they direct them toward private charities instead (which is a good point — if you’re looking to volunteer, then recognize it helps to be something more than a summer soldier or sunshine patriot). But the fact that our first responders have to decline offers for assistance rather than patrol against window-smashing pillagers speaks volumes about human behavior during crises.